I Do It For You
by Cosmic Castaway
Summary: If your a shipper of JA well then I guess this is your kind of story.


Rating: PG-13 I would guess  
Spoilers: Some from IP's Pt:2, and some good ones from Fractures I do believe.  
Summery: Trust me  
Disclaimer: I figure if DK can mess with our emotions, then why can I? Don't own nothing, wish I did you know the entier drill...and before I let you read this..one personal note BE GENTAL AND TRUST ME!!!!!  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
POV. Aeryn  
  
I look at John from the corner of my stare and just see the determination like a hot fire burning like an inferno in his blue eyes. I can hear him talking to us, trying to tell us to make a selection on a path and then follow it. I didn't think or realize my course until I stood beside the man who wore my lover's face.   
  
My thoughts are jumbled, still trying to comprehend what has happened in such a short little period of time. A time in which anybody sensible person would heal only when I stood beside him once more getting the full aroma, I wasn't sure if I was fully healed.   
  
I stood strong and focused as Captain Bilair Crais came and stood with Crichton and I, choosing the same path that is still very much darkened. With the crew looking at us so close, them too thinking out their plans, fight or flight. Suddenly I realize I feel very light-headed with the eyes of my ship mates so focused, staring and judging, questing my state of mind.   
  
When I hear John speak the words with pure serenity, I can't help think that I might very well lose this one as well. With that thought edging on my thoughts more then ever I step out of Pilot's den, going down the corridor not even sure where my feet are leading me.   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*   
  
POV. John  
  
What do I think when Aeryn Sun chooses now to stand beside me? There is a part of me that wants to cry out and stop her from this commitment and then there is a part of me that is a very selfish part that just wants to hold her desperately. To be able to embrace the love I was so close to having, only to be thrown violently back to step one.   
  
As I tell the crew I'm going to take Scorpius out one way or another, I can't help wonder what Aeryn thinks about this whole thing. No, I will never be able to get past the wall that she has build up around herself. I don't blame her really, now.   
  
She leaves and I hear her departing footsteps getting further and further away from my aching soul. Before I find myself running after her like I was a lost puppy I look at each and everyone's worried eyes. The last is that of Crais's, who I still can't read. I believe it to be some kind of Peacekeeper trait, not easy to read and just not understandable.   
  
Crais simply just nods and I take off looking for Aeryn. As I look for her my thoughts are giving me such a headache I want to scream and just drop to the ground and thump around until it stops.   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
POV. Aeryn  
  
What I'm I doing here? I shouldn't be in this room, but I can't help it....I miss him so much and he is right with me on the Leviathan.   
  
Why did things have to be so difficult, why can't they just be easy? Why do I have this life, why can't it be the way I was bred to be, a simple as saying a name, a Peacekeeper?   
  
Thoughts like this makes me go running into John Crichton's room, the room that smells like my lover but the smell is a stranger to me. Oh I curse the name John Crichton.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
POV.John  
  
I come to my room, my living quarters. She is standing there. Aeryn Sun is not moving, no she is just simply standing there.   
  
As I make a step towards her, I stop. I freeze. I suddenly can't move. I'm a schoolboy again asking the girl next door if she likes me and wants to go out with me and I'm shy and scared as hell. Oh My God I'm frozen and I don't know what to say. I walk out quickly not even sure if Aeryn hears me.  
  
I stop again as I'm trying to come up with an excuse why I need to come into my room. That is it, I realize. It's MY living quarters. I nod my head in acknowledgment with my thoughts and I turn around and step to go into my room only she is right there in front of me.   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*   
  
POV. Aeryn  
  
I step out of Crichton's room to find the human in front of me. He is giving me a blank stare, unreadable. As I see the stare I wonder if all humans are like John, where you can't read the emotions on his face. Maybe I don't know him as much as I thought I did.   
  
As I try to come up with words, words that may help me along the path of healing. Only before I can say something he just smiles a very sad smile and turns around and just walks away.   
  
The sting of tears began to form at the corner and ever so slowly begin the long travel down my face.   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*   
  
POV. John  
  
Why I'm I walking away? I can't stop my feet, there just going and leaving my heart behind. I yell at my mind but it won't obey and maybe it knows something I just don't. I realize it is just me walking way cause I just can't stand to see that stare on Aeryn Sun's face. The stare judging me, asking me to remember things that happened with her and him on Talyn. But I don't have those memories, I only have the ones that of me longing for Aeryn. The ones of her coming back to me like a broken shell that just has no hope of being glued back together again.   
  
I know it's best I just walk away, so that is what I did. Maybe, I do hope, maybe I will get the chance to show how much I love Aeryn Sun with the depth of my soul, as much as the other one did.   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*   
  
POV. Aeryn  
  
I keep yelling trying to come up with something to say, to follow him, but I just simply watched him disappear around the corner.   
  
When Pilot commed me I prayed for something to keep my mind off of John Crichton. But that is not what I got, I got that there was a commerce planet near by. So I thanked him and ended up telling him I was going to go down, not even knowing if John was coming as well. I just needed to get off the ship that seemed to be growing smaller and smaller by the arns.   
  
He was coming with cause when I showed up in the docking bay he was there. He didn't have the jacket, why didn't he have the jacket on? I was about to ask, but then I just decided at the last moment not to.   
  
We stayed silent in Moya's transport pod, not daring to speak, for what was there to say? So silence.   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*   
  
POV. John  
  
I won't speak to Aeryn, I can't and I won't. He was right, I need to give her time. So that is what I was going to do.  
  
Simple plan. Wrong. I squirmed inside like a little kid needing to go to the bathroom. I want to say a word so badly to her, but I can't think of any good topics, what could I say? 'So how you doing Aeryn. After all I have your lover's face, isn't life just peachy?' Oh yeah that would blow over real well.  
  
So I just sat there, and ever so slowly would allow my eyes o glance to her gray eyes. I would catch her eyes and as she would too, we would look back down pretending that never happened.   
  
When we finally got to the commerce planet, Aeryn and I got paired off with each other. There was no doubting the crew was trying their very best to get us talking.   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~   
  
POV. Aeryn  
  
We are alone with each other again and again there is nothing to talk about and nothing to say. I don't even know what to say to him.  
  
We walk down the market quickly looking at the items, not really looking at anything particular. I was so focused on my thoughts and coming up with things I could try and say something to John, I didn't even heard the whine of the pulse pistol.   
  
I was simply walking down the path picking dust up with my feet purposely when I was caught off guard and shoved. I fell and my body hit with a thud. I could feel every pebble smacking into anything exposed. Immediately I brought my pulse pistol to bare and rolled to the side and with pure instinct I fired. The alien dropped to the ground dead, pulse blast infused into its head.   
  
I put my pulse pistol back. I would refused to look down at my feet. I wanted to assure myself that John was all right and so I began to look. My eyes frankly searched the crowd that began to form around me. My mind was playing tricks and I would swear I could see a blur, and catch a quick glimpse of his blue eyes and the charming grin of his. As I hear D'Argo's booming voice, trying to get through the crowd I let my eyes glance down.   
  
Reflex kicks in and I close my eyes at the sight laid before me. The hand that is of mine slowly makes it way to my mouth for I'm trying to stop the emotion from surfacing but I'm failing miserably.  
  
My powerful-trained legs that hold me up give out and I'm now near the form. I try and open my eyes that I should be able to see out of but only my salty tears prevents that. Cause now all I can think over and over is that he did it again to me. He did what the other did to me. He was being John Crichton the hero.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
POV. John  
  
Oh god Aeryn is pissed at me, I know she is. I couldn't help it, really I couldn't. I had gotten this strange bizarre feeling to look behind me and thank the lord I did cause there standing only feet away behind us was an alien preparing to fire at Aeryn. My mind did not ask why this pathetic alien was firing a pulse pistol, and what we had done to piss it off. I just simply yelled in my head to move and protect Aeryn Sun. She was on my right side and with a leap of faith I jumped behind her shielding her.   
  
As I jumped I wrapped my hands around her waist and with my weight baring on her she came down with me to the dirty ground. I felt the pulse blast slam into my back, but I did succeed in protecting Aeryn....I was her bodyguard, her armor.   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~   
  
POV. Aeryn  
  
I can't believe this. He is dying on me all over again. My mind has been under lock in key, refusing to play the image of the light dimming ever so slowly out of his eyes, the last sentence he spoke and that last breath he took beside me. Now it's happening like a bad memory that won't just go away. Scars that just won't heal and disappear.   
  
I move enough so I can get my legs under his head. I still keep John on his side so hopefully his breathing will be a little easier for him and that his own blood won't end up choking him. I grasp his hand into mine. I can feel the sweat soaking my hand, the sweat that is flowing out of him trying to handle the damage that has been done to it. I look up to the sky begging for someone to stop the world that has become so twisting and turning that has made me so nauseous.   
  
I look back down at John's crippled body, tears running off my checks and onto his hot face. My free hand is stroking the soft brown hair. I can see from where I sit, John's eyes are every so slowly moving from side to side.   
  
I move closer by lowering my head. I try and find my voice, my breath that seemed to be hiding from me, but John had beaten me to it.   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~   
  
POV. John  
  
I can feel Aeryn's shaky fingers clinging to my hand and smoothing my sweaty hair. I can smell her hot jagged breath above my ear. I swallow hard, trying to stop the convulsions coursing through my body. I can't leave this aching body until I'm satisfied that Aeryn no longer looks at me as a copy, a clone.   
  
"Aeryn....I know...things have been....hard betw...een us. I just want....you to know....I love you so much." I cough, the pain racking through my entire body, every nerve is on fire but I still won't stop until I have said what needs to be said to the Radiant Aeryn Sun. "You're my heart and soul. When....I think...of someone....it's always....you Aeryn...."   
  
I close my eyes, trying to find some kind of will power some kind of extra energy. I open my eyes again and try my best to look up at her. "Aeryn.....I just need you.....to know. Every thought....every waking hour....everything I do....it's for you Aeryn."   
  
I can feel her tears rolling down my face and with every ounce of my soul I take the hand grasped in hers and put it to her face and grab her cheek. I move it down to her chin and give it a tiny tug and then I just let my hand collapse on her lap. As I hear her say my name and see D'Argo now blocking the sunlight I just smile and close my eyes, letting go of my reality.   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*   
  
POV.Aeryn  
  
I didn't say anything to him, I just held him. He closed his eyes and he went slack. I don't know what to do, I don't know whether to panic or cry out and before I can do anything D'Argo carefully picks John up and carries him away. I just sit there, staring at nothing.   
  
I feel a press on my shoulder and I swear I can hear Chiana but I can no longer think. I can't remember walking to the transport pod. I can't remember when I had walked to John's quarters I just know that I was in his bed crying.   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
POV. John  
  
I opened one eye and then the other. I was on Moya. No I died on the commerce planet. I slowly move my head to see if I can find Zhaan who will end up bringing me to heaven's gates, or something like that. But she is no where to be found. I look over to my right and there is beautiful Aeryn, sweet Aeryn. I smile.   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
POV. Aeryn  
  
It was D'Argo who came and told me that John was still alive. He was in a coma and not doing so well. So I got myself together and walked down to the Med Bay. He was lying there peacefully.   
  
So I found a chair and just watched John from my chair. I didn't say anything. I didn't know what to say to someone who looked like they were sleeping. So I just sat there, not counting the arns.   
  
I closed my eyes and when I woke up with a jerk, John was smiling at me. For a microt I thought it was a dream, a very evil dream that was trying to bring my wishes to life. But when I closed them, shook my head, and then opened them again he was smiling at me. I jumped from my chair and just stood there.   
  
I didn't know what to do. So I did what my heart told me to do. I walked over to him in the bed, leaned down and without hurting him I hugged him. I brought my lips to his and kissed him ever so sweet.   
  
My tears are falling down my face again but this time I don't stop them, I don't try to hide them, I just simply let them run down my face for I'm so happy. I grab the chair and rest my head up on the chair. I finally find the courage to speak to him.   
  
"I almost lost you, again. I don't know what to do anymore. By not knowing what I should know, you almost slip by me and I would have never gotten another chance." He puts his hand on my lips and with a raspy voice he speaks to me once more.  
  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
POV. John  
  
"Aeryn. Life sometimes can be so cruel and so hard on it's beings you just don't know what to do. But sometimes a funny thing happens....and you get a second chance. I don't know....what is going to...happen. But maybe this is a sign,....we will just have to take the road....together."   
  
I thought I was dead. But I didn't die and I have another chance and maybe Aeryn has a chance as well. There could be some hope as small a mere light, just bright enough for us to see and understand, that maybe we can make it. I put my hand out hoping Aeryn will take it. She takes my hand and puts her head on it, and the light just grew brighter.....  
  
The End  
  
Look into my eyes - you will see  
What you mean to me  
Search your heart - search your soul  
And when you find me there you'll search no more  
  
Don't tell me it's not worth tryin' for  
You can't tell me it's not worth dyin' for  
You know it's true  
Everything I do - I do it for you  
  
Look into my heart - you will find  
There's nothin' there to hide  
Take me as I am - take my life  
I would give it all - I would sacrifice  
  
Don't tell me it's not worth fightin' for  
I can't help it - there's nothin' I want more  
Ya know it's true  
Everything I do - I do it for you  
  
There's no love - like your love  
And no other - could give more love  
There's nowhere - unless you're there  
All the time - all the way  
  
Oh - you can't tell me it's not worth tryin' for  
I can't help it - there's nothin' I want more  
I would fight for you - I'd lie for you  
Walk the wire for you - ya I'd die for you  
  
Ya know it's true  
Everything I do - I do it for you  
  
  
Brian Adams (Everything I do) I do It For You  
  



End file.
